Ashamed

I went for the Monbukagakusho Qualifying Examination on 1st of June, 2008. Before I sat for the exam, I went through the sample papers and I knew they were difficult. Perhaps that was the reason I did not really study for the exam. You might think, 'Shouldn't you study harder when it's difficult?' Yes, that's true but when I looked at the questions and the amount of materials I need to cover, better just go through them and remember what you could rather than to study everything. That was what I though. 'Aih.. Didn't get ma didn't get lo. At least I tried.' How negative of me.

My seat label.

But when I arrived at the venue, registered myself and sat in the exam hall, all of the sudden, this weird feeling rush into me. This feeling that says, 'Oh god! I want to go Japan and study!!'. The first paper was Biology. It was ok. The hope was there but upon sitting for the second paper, Chemistry, I thought I could call my dad and ask him to pick me up. I do not need to sit for any other papers anymore. I will not get into the interview level anymore. When I sat for Maths, I practically waved goodbye to my golden chance. I think I never did as badly as that paper before in my entire life as a student. That was how bad it was.

The hall.

The result, whether I'll be qualified to attend the interview or not, will be sent to my home by the end of June. Unless miracle occurs, I'm all ready for a negative respond. I felt so dumb sitting for the exam. I should have known I wasn't good enough.


P/s: I'm planning to get a new Canon digital camera (model is A470). It's 7.1 mega pixel with 3.4x optical zoom and costs RM500 with a free 1G memory card. What do you think? Should I get it?

Planned to get an orange A470 and currently using a blue A460.

I'm currently using my sis's Canon A460- 5.0 mega pixel with 4x optical zoom. She's not asking it back (I think), so it's not really a necessity to spend RM500 for a camera but yet...! So, in order to make a decision (I'm very indecisive), please do let me know if I should get a camera. Points to ponder- I'm a photography club member, I love snapping pics but I do not need really beautiful pics. I just need pics which are enough to preserve memories.